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Don’t tell anyone but I’m writing to you from beyonnnd the graaaave….

Ok, I’m not dead, but my life sure is. I have been sentenced to the horrors of a day job. You’d probably thinking to yourself “Big deal, who hasn’t? You tremendously entitled self important snowflake!” To which I say, dang you’re cold. What did I ever do to you, besides attempt to bring a little joy and levity into your life?

For the rest of you that don’t hate me (everyonebutAndywhoreallyhasissues), I’m sorry for the extended absence. I can’t tell you where I am or what I’m doing these days, otherwise my new overlords might know what I’m saying about them. I will gives you a hint: If you’ve recently purchased a new refrigerator and you’re between the ages of a million and God, there’s a good chance you’ve spoken to me recently.

And in my downtime, this is life.

If by chance, any of you have missed me, I just want to throw out there that I’m on Patreon ( If you’ve ever wanted a sweet personal pic of you in a genuine Martine EaZee style, this would be your chance. You can even get it on a coffee mug with your all time favorite comic on it (of mine- Gary Larson can peddle his own swag). Remember, Only You Can Prevent Gainful Employment. Aren’t I at least as entertaining as the painfully honest panhandlers with the signs that tell you they are going to spend your money on drugs and beer?

At any rate, I am going to do my best to be more vocal from now on. Leave me a note on my page so I know that you’re listening (Pink would like to know if you are out there because when he was a boy he had a glimpse out of the corner of his eye). Drop me an email ( if you want to be the penniest of pen pals.

I don’t want to pressure you really. But if you don’t support me, I hope you find the right artist for you. We can all use your support these days and as long as you keep feeding us, we promise to keep hanging out and give you hope (laughter? Inspiration? Snacks?). Like cats. If snacks are dead birds.

Missed you all and glad to (re) make your acquaintance.


Communications Breakdown

Communications Breakdown published on No Comments on Communications Breakdown

Hello hello hello. You may have noticed a slight… interruption in my posting recently. I’m on vacation, but that’s not why. In full accordance with Murphy’s Law, I decided to let the charger for my working PC die while I was on the road. I thought the challenge would be… fun? A new charger is flying my way post haste from the good people in the Amazon or something like that.

In the meantime, I write here from fabulous not downtown not Las Vegas (Las Vegas adjacent… in line of sight from Vegas… just up the road from Vegas…. the Nevadan version of the suburbs) on my mothers’ adorb little chromebook. I assume the site will forgive me this slight infidelity in exchange for the attention paid it. I’ll have to figure out how to make up for having ignored it on Valentines Day. But hey, I got ignored on Valentines Day too. It’s a tough old world, site. Best be getting used to it.

I promise new art tonight. It’s a certified Martin Gold Promise. The kind of promise that if I break it, you get to bring it up for the next thirty years as proof of my untrustworthy nature. Except you won’t get to, because see… Martin… Gold… Promise. A less gold promise… more of a bronze promise… is a review of something good to read… soon… ish. Anyone have a favorite webcomic (inconceivable as it is to Martin, it need not be this one)? Sound off and maybe it will be my favorite too (even if it’s not this one). Sorry for the interruption and in the meantime, here is a bad ASCII picture of a spider.

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Night Owl!

Night Owl! published on No Comments on Night Owl!

I’m one of those people that has trouble with the whole being awake during the day thing. It’s never been easy for me. There’s a good chance I’m sleeping while you’re reading this. Just like there’s a good chance you’re sleeping while I’m writing it. I’m one of those people known as a night owl and that gives me plenty of time to think about things that probably don’t cross the minds of the Normals.

Thing 1:
Apologies to Dr. Seuss. It’s an homage. This is how Things look in my head when I think about Things.

Why do they call us night owls? Isn’t that redundant? I mean, if you take something that’s most well known for being that one thing, do you really need to add the thing it’s known for as a qualifier? Shouldn’t we just be owls? We don’t call that drinker with the hollow leg a water camel. Or a camel at all I guess. Yet. Try it and it might catch on. Anyways, I mean, what’s the danger of misunderstanding here? “Oh? You’re an owl too? I love eating mice?” Also, language evolves. Owls might be awake at night, but vampires burst into flames in the day. Their claim to being  synonymous with the night is way over that of owls. I know someone will come in and tell me that vampires (or night vampires as I now like to call them) have historically not until recently been inextricably tied to the night. But that’s my point.  Besides, mistaken ideas lead us neatly into

Thing 2:
It’s running because it’s a wave.

I’m sure you know this, but things are louder at night. They don’t seem louder and people don’t do things louder. Sound just likes to be louder at night and murder those things that bring sleep to the world. I call this the psychological Doppler effect. PDE will soon be playing at a rave near you. It’s what makes those upstairs neighbors sound like they’re wearing the kind of lead boots that leads to deepwater expeditions for giant squid. I’m sure there’s probably some big scientific explanation about how the air is thin and carries sound better or something. All I know is the volume at which I can barely hear my tv during the day is 3 times the volume at which I’m afraid it will wake the neighbors at night. There’s no ambient noise that makes a difference or anything. It’s just a case of PDE gone awry.

I have other things but the sun will be up soon so I should hit the sack. I’ll leave you with this old doodle. I drew it at night.



Lucky Happenstances

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Today a Facebook Friend (an FF not to be confused with the Fantastic Four- my fantastic friends far outnumber that) of mine shared an image from a remarkable cartoonist by the name of Sophie Labelle. Sophie writes Assigned Male Comics. I’m not trans, but many of my besties are and I’ll admit I worry about them. This world isn’t super kind to what it considers “normal” and for all our vulnerable populations who live on the fringes, life can be a constant aggressive, passive aggressive and microaggressive hell.

This is where Sophie comes in. She sets a bar as a comic artist I hope to reach myself someday. She’s a smart, funny, talented voice for a community that rarely gets to have that from the inside in a manner that’s accessible to the outside. She’s iconic without being an icon. A real flesh and blood human who shows vulnerability with a bravery I can’t help but love and admire.

This is where you come in, my friends. Although Sophie (rightfully) gets a lot of good and positive support for the work she does, she also (wrongfully) receives a lot of hate. If she can continue to be badass, then I think the least we can do is our part to make sure the love outweighs the hate. If you want to do your good deed for today, like Sophie’s page. Visit her Patreon. Share some kind words with her when something resonates with you. It’s not an act of charity. It’s win win because you’ll get to read and support some great art and I promise great art makes great life.

Artfully yours,


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