Skip to content


Epilogue published on No Comments on Epilogue

It’s the end of the world as we know it and I feel… sick?

For all of my fellow nihilists that have been keeping up with the news, scientists have just informed us that the carbon dioxide in the air has permanently passed that all important 400 PPM count that probably means irreparable climate damage.


But of course, they’re just scientists. What do they know? There’s a habitable planet just over by Alpha Proxima that we’ll colonize using science! Oh… wait… oxymoronic thing to say. I’ll leave that plan to Gary Johnson.

In the meantime, go ahead and burn all the styrofoam you like, find some vintage Aqua Net bottles and spray them with both hands. Throw away all the bottles you take one sip of water from into the nearest national park, because now it’s party time. Just like those folks in that Poe story where the Dioxide Death held sway over all…

Or maybe that’s hyperbolic. Maybe we can try and be responsible enough to try and make it so that the great grandkids have a fighting chance to see a tree. But given our track record, I’ll not hold my breath on that one (though I may have to soon enough along with everyone else). But hey! I don’t have any kids. You all do what you like.

Either way, it’s been an honor partying with you all.

Fatally yours,


Primary Sidebar